Anger
by Lady Merlin
Summary: Kel gets mad over something. see who'll comfort her. very sweet fluff, not saccharine sweet tho. :D KN


Well, a long time, but this time, I've read the Kel series! MWAHAHAHAH! I rule! Sorry. Anyway, you know the calls. I own no one, am making no profit blah de blah de blah. Ehrm. ENJOY!!! Oh yeah, I know they probably didn't have concrete back then, but whatever.

They were just sitting around, enjoying each other's companies. It was so peaceful after the war. Suddenly, Tobe burst into the room. "Lady!" he panted. Kel sprang out of her chair with an energy Neal always admired. "Kel." Kel said. Tobe rolled his eyes. "it's a letter for you! The sir who gave it to me told me to hurry. He's a real knight-ish person." Kel raised an eyebrow. "with golden hair and the real flop." Kel ignored him and opened the letter. As she read the contents of the letter, her face drained of all colour and she swayed lightly. Kel always looked like she was going to blow off in the wind, but never did. Now Neal was convinced she might, as he jumped forward and caught her. She sat down on the table. The paper floated to the floor but by the time it hit, Kel was gone. She had vanished from the room faster than a ghost. Lord Raoul and lady Alanna were there too. Everyone was stunned.

Neal picked up the piece of paper, and read out loud,

_To: Sir Keladry Of Mindealan_

_Kel, I'm sorry. Papa's gone. He slipped away from the healers last night. He said to tell you that he loved you, and that he would be watching you, your first love, your first kiss, your first child (his grandchild) your life and your hopes and dreams. He'll be there in your heart forever and he'd be waiting to lift you up and swing you around in circles. Kel, I know you're mad, but there was nothing you could have done, at all. Kel, your being here wouldn't have changed anything. You had to take care of your refugee camp. Pa knew that. Please, he'd want you to be happy. He's in a better place. I love you Kel. Come home as soon as possible. We want to talk to you. Ma, Anders and your sisters send their love. _

_From: Sir Inness of Mindealan_

Before the paper could hit the ground (again), Neal was gone. Raoul was about to go after him when Alanna and Dom stopped him. They looked at each other with an understanding look. Raoul just looked confused. They hadn't known that something was wrong with Kel's father.

Neal soon caught up with Kel who was in the practice courts standing infront of a huge stone vase that Jon thought was decorative. She had a huge Carthaki weapon, called a _gadha_ (technically it's an Indian weapon, it's a huge ball at the end of a cone(on the wide side) covered in spikes) (lethal) in her hand. He stood and watched, not knowing what to expect. She lugged the _gadha_ off the ground (it was heavy even for her) and swung. Neal knew he would wince even before it hit the vase. And when it did, he shrunk at the sound. The ground shivered. He looked up and was surprised to see that the vase looked relatively unharmed. He was just about to say something when she swung again. It vase crunched. He could see a line appear at it's base. Another swing. And a sick crunch and the vase landed on the floor. Neal looked at her stunned. She didn't seem to notice him. He remembered that the room they'd just been in overlooked this particular practice court. He look up towards the window, he saw Alanna and Raoul's gaping jaws at the window with startled eyes peeping out from all around them (their friends).

Another crunch. He spun back to Kel. The vase was still being attacked. It was on the floor. Kel stood there and whacked it yet again. It didn't even roll over. It had a huge gaping dent on one side. She hit it again. It cracked down the centre. And again. Small splinters broke off. And she stopped. Neal was about to approach her again when she lifted it up again and swing it in circles, yelling, before landing it on the vase with a huge impact. It broke into fist size pieces. Neal almost wasn't sure if he was really watching this. Jon had had to get Numair to magick it there. Not even some of their best knights put together (including Alanna) couldn't lift it.

She looked done, walking away before she spun around and viciously landed the _gadha_ on the rocks on the floor. They crunched. And again. She wailed as she swung it again. The rocks were now shards on the floor. Then dust, pounded away by her feet. She was still pale as a sheet. She stopped and dropped the _gadha_ to the floor. She walked to a tree nearby and climbed up. Neal looked at her, still dazed.

He walked to under the tree. She looked up and saw her sitting with her face in her hands. "Kel?"

"Go away Neal."

"Come on Kel, what happened?"

"Drop it. I know you read the letter."

"Ah, yes." Neal said embarrassed, "but it doesn't explain."

She shuffles over on the branch and Neal took that as an invite to head up the tree. He climbed up and sat beside her, her warm thigh pressed to his, but she wouldn't let him see her face. "Kel?" he prompted her, knowing that talking would do her good.

"They found a lump, in his heart, in his annual checkup. It had clogged up, they said. Nothing big. It looked normal enough. He was fine. After a while though, he began having difficulties breathing. We wanted him to go for a checkup, but he delayed it more because of my ordeal. He was okay, he said. The healers said that they'd open him up and clean it for him. The fats felt soft enough. They operated. The fats had hardened. The entire vein was brittle. It shattered. They panicked. They didn't know what to do. They consulted some books and said that they could replace the vein, no problem. I was supposed to be there. It was risky they told us, but do-able. They never said that his body could reject the vein. It did. He was supposed to be in intensive care. Then he had a heart attack. Another small vein had clogged. It's complicated. Everything was piling up, his time was running short. I was supposed to go. I was supposed to help. I couldn't. the refugees needed me. His heart just shut down one night. I could happen again. It did. I couldn't even say goodbye."

Neal noticed a quiver in her voice. "Kel, he loved you and you loved him. He knew that. That's what matters."

"It's my fault!"

"What? How was it have been your fault?!"

"Everything else was normal! Everything was as it has always been! Except me. I wasn't there."

"Kel, it wouldn't have changed anything!"

"You don't know that." Kel said, her voice shrilling. He put his hand on her shoulder. She turned around and he saw with a stunned amazement that she had been crying. Her eyes were red and there were white stains on her cheeks. This wasn't the Kel that everyone depended on as their sole pillar of un-changing-ness. This was Kel, when she let herself be Kel. This was Kel, with the emotions. He'd never seen her.

"Kel, come here," he said and opened his arms. She looked at him and sobbing hugged him. He could feel her hesitant heartbeat on his chest, her very feminine curves pressed against his hard abs. he could feel her heart thumping in her chest, she was that close. "Kel, it wasn't your fault, it would never have been your fault."

She didn't reply but slowly her heart wrenching sobs reduced to a sniffle. She pulled away from his huge teddy bear like embrace of comfort and wiped her eyes. He smiled softly at her and wiped another tear rolling down her cheek. "Come on, I know something that can help."

"Numair?" she asked.

Neal made a face. "Not that dirty old man." Kel couldn't help but laugh. "Something better."

"Better than powerful magic?"

He smiled and led her to the kitchens. Once there, he was greeted by the cooks and all. "the usual, Sir Nealan?"

He mock growled at the use of his full name. "Of course!" he said imperiously before trotting up to the head cook and kissing her fat cheek. Kel chuckled. "Oh yeah, this is Sir Keladry, my best friend." She grinned and nodded at them in greeting; they did the same.

He took the bowl of brown runny looking stuff from one of their hands and did a weird jiggly dance, leaving the kitchen with a good natured good bye. Kel dashed after him, yelling good bye too, knowing that Neal was the only person who could make her feel good like this.

Soon they were outside his rooms. "come on in!" he invited her. She hesitated before walking in. maybe she still wasn't that over him yet. She closed the door behind her.

He plopped down on a chair and pulled her down beside in his lap; there was only one chair. He said, "This is THE most amazing thing you could ever eat. EVER. It's the ultimate anti-depressant."

"What is it?" she asked, curious. It was steaming. "Hot?" she asked as Neal help up a spoonful; he'd forgotten to bring another spoon.

"Nope. Just heaven." She opened her mouth and eat a scoop of the runny sweet stuff and instantly became an addict; ice cream. Her eyes opened and Neal chuckled. She leaned back onto his chest and enjoyed the comfort of his warm embrace. She really didn't know how to express it in words (well, I don't). It was like she belonged, in a cheesy sense. She felt that in his arms, nothing more was required of her, it was comfortable, like bed on a Monday morning, when you knew that soon you'd have to face the harsh cold world. She accidentally placed her hand on his chest and warmth flooded her fingertips.

On the other hand, Neal couldn't remember being so comfy ever. Except maybe his mother's womb. But he didn't remember that. He shrugged his hand around her waist and she slid beside him. They sat there, just stoning. There wasn't really anything to do.

Meanwhile…

"I wonder where Neal and Kel are…" Raoul asked.

Dom and Alanna rolled their eyes. "you don't know yet?" Alanna asked.

"Know what?" Raoul replied.

"Kel. And Neal?" Dom asked.

"Uh huh. What about them?"

"Raoul don't tell me that you don't know that Kel's had a crush on Neal for years." Alanna said dryly.

"She has?" Raoul gasped. "I never thought!"

Dom said, "I know…" Raoul just glared.

Back there…

"Kel." Neal said.

"Hmm?" Kel replied.

"Do you love anyone?" Neal asked.

"What?" Kel asked surprised.

"Do you love anyone?" Neal repeated patiently.

"Erm." Kel thought. "Yeah, actually I do."

"As in not family, as in love love." Neal poked.

"Yeah, I do. What about you?" Kel admitted.

"I-I can't say." Neal stuttered.

"Hey! I'm your best friend! Besides, I just told you." Kel said, insulted.

"Alright fine. Yeah, I do." He said exasperatedly. "I dare you, to kiss him. In front of me."

"WHAT?" Kel demanded, outraged.

"Yepp. I dare you. On the name of ice cream." Meaning if she disagreed, she'd never legally eat ice cream ever again.

"But, that's not fair!" Kel whined.

"Oh yes it is." Neal said, smugly.

"Fine then, I dare YOU to kiss her infront of me." Kel said, satisfied she'd thought of it.

Neal shrugged. "Okay." But inside he was whacking himself half to death.

Soon, it was night. She knew she had to go. She dragged herself up with a groan. Her body has kind of moulded itself into the shape if Neal's arm. She knew she might not get another chance alone with him. It had to be tonight.

She got up and pulled him up with her. Difficult considering her light structure, but alright, considering his lanky frame. He groaned. "Whyyyyyy!?"

She squooshed all her fears and the butterflies and put a long finger on his lips. He looked surprised, his green eyes widened, but not as surprised as when she removed her finger and replaced them with her lips. Her lips were soft and luxurious. He melted into her kiss and his startled eyes closed as he pulled her close to him. Soon she pulled away for the most unromantic reason; lack of air. His eyes were still shut, savoring her taste.

He smiled and his sparkling emerald green eyes opened, smiling too. His warm palm caressed her cheek and brushed away her hair. And he pulled her in for another kiss. Meanwhile, Kel was feeling very down. She would NEVER be friends with him again, she'd die of shame and people would forget she ever existed. All these thoughts vanished when he kissed her. She couldn't care less what or why, she just drowned in the moment.

Breaking off, they stayed still, inhaling each others' unique scents, Kel's; the zing of cinnamon and cardamom, Neal's; the fresh tinge of lime and lemon grass.

They knew each other's hearts must be thudding as fast as their own, but then real life appeared again. Kel pulled away and she gazed into he crystal green eyes with her worried/terrified dreamer's eyes. Suddenly she spun and walked away, opening and closing the door faster than Neal could say Sasquatch.

The next few days were spent in the flurry of tension, arranging for Kel to go home. Kel made a daily trip to the kitchens. She'd fulfilled her promise. She'd kissed the one she loved. Only to loose him.

So did Neal. One day, they slammed (literally) into each other and before she could say anything, Neal dragged her off to his rooms. "Well? Was it true?"

"What? Was what true?"

"Did you mean the kiss? Do you love me?" Neal asked.

"What do you think? I go around kissing people?" Kel demanded indignant.

"No, no, I don't know what to think." Neal said gently.

Kel knew she was being unreasonable. She couldn't help it. "Story of my life. I came to Knight training after a whole lot of hard work. On my first day I smashed into this gorgeous guy with the most amazing green eyes who turned out to become my first and best friend. I liked him. Over time, each time I saw him my stomach joined the circus. Then I had to listen to him spout all sorts of horrible poetry about other women, comparing their eyes to sewage water and such. Listening to his tales of conquest. Hmph. What chance did I stand? Me? The cow. Story of my life."

Neal looked stunned. "But my poetry was horrible! Why did you care?"

"Don't you see Neal? I couldn't care less weather it was sewage water or toads, I was jealous."

Neal grabbed her hand and pulled her off. She didn't know what to say so just followed. Soon, they were out in the forest, on a cliff. It was dark. The stars were brilliant. He flopped down to the ground and made her snuggle in the crook of his arm. "My Fair Lady, you are so fair. My poetry flows effortlessly, for someone who dares. Your eyes are the colour of choco ice, you hair's the same colour too-"

Kel laughed. "What are you doing Neal?"

"Spouting poetry of course!" and continued. Kel couldn't have loved it more. She relaxed, feeling his heart beat. He pulled her up. "Dance with me!" he said dramatically.

"Dance?"

"Yes!" and swung her around and danced with her. Suddenly, he tipped her over and his nose came to rest just above her collar bone. He whispered, "Story of my life," and she could feel his warm breath tickling her. "I came to Knight training after a whole lot of hard work. On my first day I smashed into this beautiful girl with the most dreamy brown eyes who turned out to become my first and best friend. I liked her. Over time, each time I saw her my stomach joined the circus. Then I had to listen to her say stuff about men who flippantly chased women and her opinions of them. I had to make do with other small fries along the way to stop my aching heart for a while. None of them satisfied me. I suppose my poetry was deliberately horrible because I didn't really want that much attention in the first place. What chance did I stand? Me? Meathead. Story of my life."

She looked at him surprised. His breath was now on her ear and he nibbled her ear lobe. Then he kissed her neck. She sighed. "You know, it was our fault."

"Yeah. We should have spoken out."

"Tell me about it. It was bloody living hell."

"Promise me to always tell me."

"Promise me you'll always want to listen."

And both of them said simultaneously, "On Chocolate Ice cream."

Well? Long, but I think it's okay. Kind of botched the end. I was tired. But satisfactory. REVIEW!!


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